My body: You are tired because you haven’t eaten for a day and a half. I am conserving energy. Put food in me to wake up.
Me: Haha, silly body. Food is cure for hunger! Nap is cure for tired. I’ll take a nap and then I’ll feel better.
My body: You are feeling hunger. Feel that signal I’m sending you? Hunger. Put food in me.
Me: I’m too sleepy to think much about hunger. I’ll take a nap.
My body: Is it too late to swap? I want to be someone else’s body.
Me: A cup of tea will make me feel better
My body: PLEASE learn the difference between “appetite suppressant” and “food”.
I love this website. If I’d put this on Facebook I’d get a lot of unhelpful condescending people explaining things that the post already quite clearly states I know (“did you know that if you eat some food, it might help you wake up? Your body needs energy!”). Here, it’s just a bunch of people like “Same.”
his dark materials will literally always work bc every small child wants an animal companion that loves you most and goes on adventures with you and every adult wants an animal companion that can shoulder some of life’s immense psychologically damage for you. and you can pet it
And to tear down the feeble corpse of God! Every kid and adult wants that also!
getting lost in boston is fun because I turned around on a street corner three times and some guy yelled “hey stupid! the bus is that way!” very helpful interaction and accurate insult, 10/10 no notes
one time I walked around a building a couple times looking for a bathroom and this guy went “this bitch thinks she’s on a merrygoround, where the fuck are you tryna go? bathroom? one floor down to the right behind the door that says bathroom.”
i do think a lot of implausible medieval plot devices make more sense when considering the fact that these people simply did not have glasses
like the king arthur problem of how were these people always accidentally sleeping with the wrong person? well 1) no glasses 2) no lights and candles are so expensive 3) royal couples didn’t even sleep in the same bed a lot of the time anyway 4) arranged marriage how much do you really know your spouse anyway? maybe not very well a lot of the time 5) people are drinking a lot idk. maybe not as absurd as one might think
this post is brought to you by the one time i woke up at a sleepover and realized that without my glasses i could not distinguish one friend from the other. haunting. all of arthurian literature was unlocked to me at that moment
quick question! in which part of your life do you stop feeling like a scolded child? quick question! am i in trouble? quick question! you would tell me if im in trouble right? quick question! please don’t send me to my room quick question! please don’t be mad
ALT
